We walked to the farmer's market where I had to use spanish to buy tomatoes, jalapeños, onions, etc. Also bought cilantro from the hmong lady, but didn't know enough hmong to ask for it properly. Ran out of change before I could buy a lemon.
At home spent time washing and dicing everything up, realizing that I make cooking out to be out-of-my-reach by imagining it as something entirely too brainy and creative, when it's more of a daily discipline: am i willing to wash, chop, etc?? Am i willing to cook a LITTLE and learn a LITTLE?
Emotional food episode #1 (for this record).
So it's the church potluck (every sunday) at my pastor's house. It's not really like a church, more of like a big japanese family, and fitting into a japanese family is an emotionally touchy subject with me, on two accounts: lack of language, and lack of cooking skills. I could use therapy for this from my sister...
summary in brief since i have to get off computer:
1. i brought my homemade salsa and 1/2 loaf french bread w/nutella
2. Nao said the bread and nutella thing wasn't a good idea, since the loaf was half eaten
3. i took it too personally, like my offering wasn't good enough, and thought maybe my salsa wasn't good enough either cause i didn't make tortillas or bring chips to go with it...this actually made me cry.
4. the bread & nutella stayed in the car, the salsa came in (because i rebelliously thought, jesus accepted some bread and a few fish...my salsa IS good enough...)
5. a few people praised the salsa, which I ignored because food is always praised and not just sincerely
6. but i secretly spied one guy go back for seconds of salsa, and he ate it like a salad, on nothing, just with chopsticks.